The jokes
What thing can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
The is the no the yes yes the no the.
Balls.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
Why can't an orphan play kickball?
Because they can't hit home.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
Why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight?
I have to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama's so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
A Middle Eastern man comes to the states to do a stand up show. He starts by saying “2 Jews walk into a bar, NOT IN MY COUNTRY!”
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
He's the best! Hehehehehehehhehehhehehhehehehheh.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.