The jokes
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."
What is the difference between me and food?
Food has a use.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
Memes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
The last two presidents of the US.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?
There, there, over there, and over here too.
Who was the first anesthesiologist? Hitler.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.
My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.