The jokes
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Where would Batman get his freak on at? The Batcave or the bat strip club?
----> [] get in the door.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why did the yeet yeet? It yeeted!
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.
What did the funny bone say to the skin?
"You're not humerus, I am!"
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
"There are 20 letters in the alphabet, correct?"
"No, it's 26."
"Oh, I forgot, you are a cutie."
"You're missing one more."
"I'll give you the D later."
"....come to my office at 1pm ASAP."
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
What happened when the fire used Tinder?
He luckily got a lot of matches.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.