The jokes

Why is the blind man so close to the door?

He can't see it.

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

What's the difference between a blind man and a window?

The window can see through itself.

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.

Mum: Why are you throwing a paper plane at the twins?

Me: 😈

Why did the Twin Towers fall?

They collapsed because of the heat.

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean, or is the soap dirty?

I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

What did one orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo.

If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?

To get the milk and to get to the dark side.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.