The jokes

Yo momma so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the floor cracked up.

Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"

And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"

What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.

Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?

Ground beef.

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.

No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.

Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.

Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Dad: Honey!

Mom: What?

Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.

Mom: WHAT!?

Children: *staring*

How do you win an argument against an emo kid?

Kick the chair out from under them.

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”

Son: “To the playground?”

Mom: “No, to the morgue.”

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.

Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!

Why do cows have babies?

They moo-ved together.