The jokes
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Why can't orphans go to a school field trip?
Because he needs the parent's signature.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"
Memes
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
An orphan went on a game show.
The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow-herd.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
Why can’t orphans play baseball??
Because they can’t find their way to home plate.