The jokes

Sex addict

How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?

The psychologist will thank you for coming.

Life

Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.

The creator's son tried that!

(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)

Dinosaur

Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?

Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.

Bowling Ball

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

Bungee Jumping

I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.

Mama

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Grocery

I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"

Father

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

Mama

Yo mama is so STUPID, she thought the Rams football team were actual RAMS.

Fat

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

Kid

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Novel

My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

CPR

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

Cop

Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...

Well nvm, they shot him dead.

Tower

The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.

They were plane as usual.