The jokes

The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.

They were plane as usual.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.

"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass."

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?

A: At least one does something when it is triggered.

You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?

RUSSIA US A

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.

I just cut everyone.

I think Kobe misunderstood the 6-ft rule.

Dating in your 30s is like looking for a parking spot...

The good ones are all taken. The rest are either handicapped or too far away.

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.

Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.

I had a job at a banana factory. I got fired because I threw away the bent ones.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.