The jokes
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find his way to the BEAT!
What did the rapper say to his broken refrigerator?
"Yo, chill!"
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?
To leave everyone SPEECHLESS!
Why did the rapper carry an UMBRELLA?
Because he heard there was a 50% chance of "Lil Wayne."
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Why did the rapper go to the auto shop?
To get his RHYMES in TUNE.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
What war did the black community win?
The Obama era. Only to lose to a smarter white person.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs.
There’s no hope.