The jokes

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

What did the ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean? Answer: Nothing, they just waved.

Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?

Because the children kept calling me "daddy."

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.

What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?

Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.

What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both try to get there before the hair does.

The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?

The captain's log.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

Why is America the fastest readers?

They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked.

Why do the police never catch the orphan?

The orphan is not wanted.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.