Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?
Sensei: What is that?
Me: Saw con deez nu...
Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?
Me: Whatβs ligm...
Sensei: π
Me: no no no no
Sensei: Ligma ba...
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Thatβs the ugliest baby that Iβve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off β go ahead, Iβll hold your monkey for you."
Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?
Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
@everyone.. what's so funny is that JIT thinks he's so "cool" and that everyone is "amazed" about him hating on people who is wayyy above him on the roster.
The pathetic part is that he hates on everyone else's family and relationships when 100% of us have a WAYY better one than he will ever deserve. He was born pathetic, and will die pathetic. So JIT, please tell me what it's like to be such a coward?
Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?
Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.
Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly.
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
Chuck Norris once went to hell.
After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.
Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.
Yo mama so fat that her belt size is the Equator.
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
Yo mama's so stupid that when she went to the Super Bowl, she brought a spoon.
