If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favourite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?” Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer; He was okay. It was a draft so he dodged it easily!
ted stinks
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy. Cause he's the most wanted
What does an Emo kid and Ted Bundy have in common?
They're both gay and use knives.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.
two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Package from Ted Kaczynski B: Package from Te A: BOOM!
Hit'em with the Ted Bundy
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty he was pretty shocked...
You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?
Because they never take a chill pill
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!!
Whats the difference between a five year old and and a Democrat.... The five year old doesnt expect you to do everything for them. (Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Sahapiro 2020)
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmot 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside
3 guys landed on a cannibal island. the Cannibal chef told them if you want to live to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to me and I will tell you what to do. so the first guy brings 10 apples and the chef said if you can shove all 10 of those in your ass without making a sound you can live. He was 3 apples in made a sound and they ate him. the second guy brought grapes. 9 grapes in and burs ted out laughing. The Cannibals ate him. then the first guy said why you laugh you were almost there. the other guy who had the grapes said I couldn't help it I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples.
