Teacher jokes
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
Student: It's hot in here.
Teacher: That's because I'm in here.
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Teacher: Tell me about the history of Tsar Nicholas (blah blah blah).
Student: How should I know, that's his story?
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.
I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.
When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Popular girl: Sorry I'm late.
Teacher: Why are you late!
Girl: I need my beauty sleep.
Nerd: Well, you might need to hibernate because you ain't pretty.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.