Student jokes
Don’t you hate it when your teacher(s) say, “just focus, it’s that easy?”
And then you die inside.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get DE-GREEZ.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
When I walk to school, I fart.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
Teacher: What does the pig's skin do?
Student: It keeps pig skin together! 😂
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
Teacher: "Okay, so how are you going?"
Student: "I'm not going."
Teacher: "Oh, so you're a wheelchair person?"
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.