Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
Chuck Norris orders his coffee black, without water.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
