Sports jokes
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
Man's hairline is back-court violation!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
Why don't we keep the balls rolling?
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!
He's the best! Hehehehehehehhehehhehehhehehehheh.
Why do cheetahs always win the race? Because he cheats, duh!
I kicked a ball at the kid in the wheelchair, and now we're playing Rocket League.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
What is better than a paralympic gold medal?
Walking! 😂😂😂
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!