why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because, everybody likes a good batter!
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
p=person (not original ''pun'')
p1:hey girl p2: i got a bf! p1: well i got a lamborghini aventador, a bugatti super sports, a yacht and a private plane. p2: bf stand for breakfast. p2: oh and also where did you get all that stuff? p1:gta5 p2: you motherfucker!!! (communications with this person are now blocked)
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What is similar between sex and fishing?
It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn’t find home plate.
In America they was a boy named urhan and he had one hand and a stump and a girl named handa who was a orphan, they had a trial for Boston red socks and they failed because urhan couldn’t stump the ball and handa didn’t know where home was.
A man decides one day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet or paws. "What is the matter with you?" the man thinks aloud.
"Well, that's how I was born, I'm actually a faulty parrot," says the bird.
"Haha," the man laughs, "it seems like that parrot understands what I'm saying and even answers!"
"I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated," says the bird.
"Well, if you're so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs."
"Well," says the parrot, "it's a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers."
"Wow, you really understand everything I say, don't you?"
"Yes, yes," replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport, and philosophy, and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you."
The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. "Sorry, I cannot afford that."
"Psst," whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you."
The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says "Pssssssssssst" while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. "I do not know if I should tell you this," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What!?" says the man.
"Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth."
"And then," the man hisses, "What happened then?"
"Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere."
"My God," says the now furious man, "And what else did they do?"
"Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down."
"And then, what happened, what else did they do?" the man screams.
"No idea," says the papgaai, "I got a boner and thundered off my stick..."
A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
Why do orphans never play baseball? Cause they can never get a home run.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize why now she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her,but she was only able to give 50.
Whats the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies I dont have a sports car in my garage
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Because that’s the only love they get.
