Sperm Jokes

Anonymous

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

D34thr0b3

what did Sophie Brussaux’s baby get every week? a face full of sperm

Boof
in Granny

The time, 3 AM. The devils hour, I’m awoken suddenly to a clapping noise, my forehead is sweating profusely. I get up from kians bed. “How did I get here?” I ponder to myself. I look to tv screen and there it is, playing right in front of my eyes. Big boob loud moan blasting through kians fortnite tv. I can smell the remnants of kians sperm which was previously ejected to this video. The clapping continues even after i turn off the video. I attempt to open his door, to no avail, his door was renound for being shit but i’d usually be able to open it after the 5th or so attempt, the 3 massive new hole may play a factor into this. I finally open the door, to be met by another door… Johns room. It is left open by a sliver, the clapping is growing. and so with it is my heart rate. I peak into his room to be met by the sight of kian getting given the nastiest of all back shots i’ve seen in my life, as i focus on kian getting pounded i hear him moan like a little girl, I’m scared to open the door fully but i overcome this fear. I storm the room to see him… It’s John. He pauses the thrusting to look at me. With no emotion, just a pure and saggy face. Staring into my soul like i’m his next victim. Kian, now in a huff that he isn’t getting his daily meat, yells at me “aye you bringing cargos to maga.” The patter is unmatched. How do i recover and retaliate to that? I immediately turn and rush for the front door. luckily, his house is 5 feet squared. So one set of stairs and freedom is mine, but as i turn, i see him. It’s penaldo back for his revenge, I call him finished and run for the kitchen, i’m met by a blockade of irn bru behind the door, so there’s only one place to go, the kitchen. I see the trio behind me, penaldo, kian and daddy john. Kian running with his joggies still down from the pounding he was given, he then trips and causes the floor to cave in towards his downstairs neighbours (lol). I get into the bathroom and lock it suddenly. i look to use the toilet but am stranded for options when i see the biggest most heaviest shite ever, it was orange, this only means one thing. Kian shite, my hunger grows as the feeney shite calls my name. My hand reaching out towards it, i pull it back with my other hand. But the urges overwhelm me, i scoff myself full, i’m not proud of what i done, but i done it to survive. Is this what we call life? Survival? I don’t know but i am satisfied with how it turned out, with all my gold aquired there is only one left, I head back to johns room and pass the crater which is kian, john is sitting on his bed with his bussy out. It is too tempting, I dive into that shit and this is where it ends, i die in that jabussy.

Bigboi
in Orphan

What do Orphans and sperm donor kids have in Calmin They don’t have dads

Crackpot69

What’s so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her. There both thinking “oh shit my mum is gonna kill me”!

D......fickenkid.
in Medical

TRUE STORY!

X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I’ve ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!

D......fickenkid.

WOULD YOU RATHER: Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t? or Drink a gallon of sperm?

D......fickenkid.

WOULD YOU RATHER: Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t? or Drink a gallon of sperm?

Jeem

An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood.” “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $30.” “Wow,” says the man, “I’m going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100.” The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. “Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?” “Sperm bank,” she mumbles with her mouth full.

Anonymous

why did the sperm cross the road?

because he put the wrong sock was put on

hehe

1 post hidden
Anonymous

why did the sperm cross the road? i put on the wrong socks this morning

Jybori

What starts with s and ends with erm? SuperM. This means both matrix and master so take out the u and then you just get master. When you think of sperm you think of porn. If your a master at something your also a star at it. So you get porn star.

Allan C.

Wanted: Sperm donors. Please come quickly!

Anonymous

All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick’s the hardest part of the body She looked like she’s having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” in her bumhole

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she’s in love with bumming Didn’t make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what’s wrong with eating the asshole? You’ll never know if you don’t try You’ll never taste if you don’t lick

Hey now, you’re a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you’re a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

It’s a gay place and they say it gets gayer You’re licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless mans throat

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on cocaine, how about yours? That’s the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you’re a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you’re a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

1
Anonymous

What do sperm say while just in

We need to go deeper

Anonymous

Hi welcome to David’s sperm bank you Jack it we pack it how may I help you?

Anonymous
in Adult

Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has giving him a brojob? because of the cream filling inside just like the individually wrapped cakes of hostess twinkies

Anonymous
in Adult

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using the computer? there is sperm on the computer screen

Anonymous
in Heterosexual

How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer? there is sperm on the screen