why did my mouth say no to buut.because that will be to much sex.
My speech impediment has gotten so worse that I stutter when typing sentences.
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the latter?"
Hello worst jokesever.com I am not typing but instead using a microphone to speech ding me a period. I don’t see what’s coming up but I don’t know why I am sending so it will be random or funny or just stupid LOL . So like and subscribe and
What was I saying again?
What do cheap people use to talk?
Free speech.
china unban google rn noOoOooOw
They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said “Of corpse”!
what is the best power that man can do? they can move the mountain with their tongue.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual".
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human like structure, muffins lack brains which are an essential part to being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak. Thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
There is a young lady.. She is beatiful. She got much vote. But she speech very fast. Does she think look smart with do that? She make me feel bad.
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot, then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
There was a cheerio that had a job, he worked hard at it and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the cheerios. So he needed a speech, he kept practicing and practicing and know he was thirsty. it was almost time for his speech. so he went to the drinking fountain but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake but he saw tons of garbage, and what he thought was a cereal killer. so he found this bowl of punch, but he relised... there was no punch-line
what where Stephen hawkings last words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb2jGy76v0Y
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral. This friend asks his wife "Can I say a word?" "Of course" she says. The man stands up and says "Plethora" The man's wife says "Thanks, it means a lot"
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech
