I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.
All I said was, hurry up, some of us got homes to go to...
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
Put the wheel wheelchair in the pot
What do u call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup
Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer My life is like... the shoe rack-
37. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting... "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!" Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time".
38. An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, "The soup is cold." His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?" The boy looked at her and replied, "Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
39. A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, "How long will it take me to get to the next town?" The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes!" "Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?" "Didn't know how fast you could walk".
40. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?" Ex wife: "I brought him into this world so I should have custody of him." Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason." Then the judge looks towards the Ex husband. Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?" The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. Is it mine or the machines?"
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen
panera bread
Why is Vegetable soup hard to cook! Because you can’t fit the Wheelchair in
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
Mommy mommy! Are we Vampires? Shut up and drink your soup before it clots.
What the difference between Clark Kent and Chicken Noodle.
One is Super. The other is just Soup.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders Turtle soup . The waiter hollers “One Turtle Soup”. A moment later the guy calls the waiter over and says, I’ve changed my mind , I would like Pea Soup The waiter hollers “ Hold The Turtle and Make It Pea “
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup is consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not."
The very young and pretty nun was walking home from the soup kitchen when a homeless man dragged her into the woods and had his way with her. When he was done, he asked her what she would tell the Mother Superior when she got back to the convent. She calmly said that she would tell her the truth. She said: "I will tell her that I was on my way home when the most disgusting, repulsive and abhorrent man dragged me into the woods and had his way with me..... twice; that is if you are not too tired.
how do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
the wheel chair rises to the top
I don't like marriage, it's just like soup, as soon as your done spooning it all cools off
