SOS Jokes

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.

Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.

Yo mama so fat, you deported herself.

Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.

Me today and everyday in existence

Two cats lying down, seemingly exhausted. One cat is leaning against the wall, with its mouth open. The text on the image says: "When you need to clean but have no motivation so you just sit there for a while like".

Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!

Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.

"Me so cutie right?"

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.

Yo forehead is so freaking big, but not bigger than my BBC. 😏

Okay, I'm so sorry, Alya, and Drew. I didn't mean to say that you guys were stupid and cringy. I mistyped. Can you guys forgive me by any chance? I'm so sorry :(

Your forehead is so big a whole state could fit on it.

Yo mama so fat, she died!

You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊‍♂️

Why do Vampires like virgins?

Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.

One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.

Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

Yo mama so stupid, she brought weed to the highway. Then she realized, "I'm not stupid, I was just high as a bitch." She just got fucked so hard by her man, she thought she was high.