SOS jokes
Nostalgia hits you like a train.
It's so hard, you can even wake up.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
I laughed at my life so hard.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Memes
You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.
Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.