So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."
SOS Jokes
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
Why do orphans go to church so they can call someone "father?"
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
I waved to you before, but you never sea me because you're so washed up.
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?
"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
I don't know what makes BlessedBrian so STUPID, but it REALLY works!
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because they could always count on their beats!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
