SOS jokes

What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?

They both hang by something.

My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar powered flashlight.

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.

Why are white people so white?

Because they forgot to urine on lotion.

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

They're making a new Alien movie.

There are so many aliens you can't keep track.

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?

They blow themselves up.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!

Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.