SOS jokes

Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to light up the room with space lasers so the other can see, and one to screw it in.

Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."