SOS jokes

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he says.

Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?

The bomb.

Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."