SOS jokes
Donald Trump is making hospitals so poor that they are using kidney beans for their transplants.
Daughter: So, I got my period.
Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!
Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?
Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.
Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)
Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)
Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he just asked her to move.
Memes
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesnβt know you're there.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Yo mama so fat, I couldn't see the store.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
Itβs hard to feel empty when youβre so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, Iβve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."
Why is Biden a priest?
So kids call him father.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie one shoe.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.