SOS jokes

Flirt

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Gender

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

Teacher

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Memes

Yo mama

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

Coffin

Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?

Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.

Dick pic

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.

Technology

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

Adoption papers

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

Hand

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

Sun

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

Orphan

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

Eye

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

Orphan

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

Matter

Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

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  • Vegetable

    This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."

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  • Life

    Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.

    Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.