SOS jokes

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."

Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.

Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!

🌍: You're so hot!

🌎: How are you single?

☀️: I burn anyone who gets too close!

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."

Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on Trump's wall 24 hours every day.

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?

Why are you so tall?

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.

Boo! 👻🎃💀🕷️🕸️☠️ (So scary, right?)

This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."