SOS jokes

Why do orphans want a phone so bad?

Because it has a home button.

I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!

I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo mama is so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Yo mama so fat, she uses the Gulf of Mexico as her hot tub!

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.

Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!

Yo mama so fat that the weighing scale said, "To be continued..."

Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

I'm so glad I am not gay. It seems like a pain in the ass.

LOL.

You're so short, Aiden looked tall.

Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.