SOS jokes

My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they finally have someone to call father.

Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

Your forehead's so big even Barry Wood said, "Wow, that's huge!"

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

Why do orphans die so much?

'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!

Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?

No, why?

Boy are deez nuts so big.