SOS jokes

Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!

Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

Why do emos have friends?

So they can hang with each other.

Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything had to be perfect...but not for long.

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.

And your IQ is 5.

And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.

Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany.

HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual fricking encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based frick chamber in a nazi camp.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"

Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?

Because it's on the burning side.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣