SOS jokes

Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.

Yo mama so fat, she orbits the sun!

Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

Yo mama so FAT... I tried to picture her in my head... AND SHE BROKE MY GOD DAMN NECK!

Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.

Some dude called me a tool.

So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

Guess he was right :/

I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.

I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.

Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."

Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined Team 10...

It became TEAM, 10, TONS!

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!

So, no head?

God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.