SOS jokes

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"

Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?

Because it's on the burning side.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

What did the icicle say to the snow?

"Why do you have to be so soft?"

Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?

Because they are always so distant. :-]

So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.

Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.