SOS jokes

You're so trash that when I dropped you off, I got a ticket for littering.

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

What did the icicle say to the snow?

"Why do you have to be so soft?"

Why is it hard having a relationship with an astronaut?

Because they are always so distant. :-]

So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.

Your hairline's so ugly it made Michael Jackson lean back.

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.

"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.