SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat when I pushed her into the jacuzzi, it caused a level 8 tsunami.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

Why do orphans go to church?

So they finally have someone to call father.

People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.

He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.

My wife complained about me being childish. So I told her to get out of my fort.

My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.

Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!

Why do emos have friends?

So they can hang with each other.

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.

God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.