SOS jokes

I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.

Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.

Your hairline is so far back that when your teacher puts you in the front of the class, your hairline is quite in the back.

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.

Your hairline is so ugly, like your mum.

Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.

Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.

Your hairline so back it caused 9/11.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!