SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.

TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.

Get a calculator.

Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

My dog died. I'm so sad.

Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."

"In chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king."

I mean, yeah, the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor, so-

Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.