SOS jokes

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Cause they already lost two towers.

Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.

Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?

So the orphans can see their parents.

Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

Your mama is so stupid that she put a ruler under her pillow to see how long she slept.

Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.

Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.

Why do orphans say, "Go big or go home?"

So that way they feel important.

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

My friend was feeling low today, so I went up to her and said, "You know, I would hang in there if I was you, swaying through life." I don't think she likes me now.

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"