I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
Solution Jokes
Solve this equation: a gay boy + a whole lot of drugs = A hyped up f'ing machine.
How do you get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
What's the best cure for aging? Suicide.
What do you do when your baby starts screaming?
Use more lube.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
