Sleep

Sleep Jokes

What is a queef? Something ur mum did in bed last night 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar

Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇

👱LADY=hi 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot is ur name 💂LIT.BABY=no reply 👱LADY=hw old at u 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot is ur mom's name 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot about ur dad 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=can u spell ur name 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY= can you spell GOD 💂LIT.BABY=(spelling) G.O.D if a little baby can spell GOD,wot about you. Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if know u will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace,ignore if u are living by power MINE:GOD 😃

Gay Collage Joke: You- Its nighttime shouldn't we be heading to bed-Boy Roommate-Ok are u Top or Bottom? -You-Uhhhhhh-Boy Roommate- No dumby bunk beds-You-Thank God- Boy Roommate- But if u wanna we can... -You- *faints*

My Friends- Maya-I only Get 9 hours of sleep.-Josh- 9 hours I get 7 hours of sleep- Noah-You get 7 I get 4 hours of sleep-Me- You Guys are getting sleep. . .

A woman once didn't return home for the night and the next morning when she arrived home her husband started questioning her about where has she been. She lied saying she slept at one of her friends. The man proceeded to call all her friends all of which denied her sleeping at them the previous night.

Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning his wife started questioning him and he lied saying he slept at a friend. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at them the previous night and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!

I think my dad is to black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes he disappears .🤣

POV: 11:07 PM At night reading these when you notice that like everyone else has not life like you.

if depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with a huge amounts of autism that would be me

It’s raining it’s poring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

Therapist: So how depressed would you say you’ve been feeling lately?

Me: I don’t care anymore if my foot hangs over the bed where a monster can get it

Therapist [whispering]: Jesus, wow