Slasher jokes

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.

3, 4, better lock your door.

5, 6, grab a crucifix.

7, 8, stay up late.

9, 10, never sleep again.

I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?

Kick his sister's jaw.