Slasher jokes

This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.