Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
Why are orphans so gayyyyyyy?
My favorite joke is my life.
There was a woman sitting with me.
I had to leave until she pointed at something—it was my butt.
I was confused until it was her turn for truth or dare.
What did the orphan say to the parent?
Oh, wait!
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Most embarrassing moment during sex, GO!
James Arnold: My grandma walked in while I was knife raping my wife.
Girl: "Come over."
Orphan: "I can't."
Girl: "My parents aren't home ;)"
Orphan: "Oh cool, something we have in common."
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
