Situation jokes
What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?
Family photo.
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
I was raised an only child, which really pissed my brother.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at funerals.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
Who is Joe?
You reply back: Who is Candice?
They reply back: Who is Candice?
You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."
Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"
What song does an orphan hate?...
"I'm so lonely."
Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.
What’s an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
A man walks into a bar.
Tell someone to look in their shirt and spell attic. Hehe.
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.