SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
I was playing Fortnite with a kid, then I heard their emo sister in the background, and it sounded like they were playing Fortnite, too, with the pistol shot and all.
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
Suck!
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Yo, little sister, pussy taste so GOOD on my TONGUE!
You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"
How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
