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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
ijolfjosd
People are like taquila glasses
you gotta shoot them down fast
My doctor said "you have 1year to live"
I said " you wanna bet"
Bam a gun shot
Your mommas so depressed she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die
Me: Cobain! Friend: No, dude, its Kobe. Me: why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
I Need to go to the hospital cause im getting shot by a PUN
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week. He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
Over summer I shot up my school and left a note saying. "I could have done this anytime".
A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What's got you down" The man says "I just found out my Niece is gay." The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky The Bartender asks "What's got you down now?" The man says "I just found out my son is gay." The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women?" The man says "My wife does."
The priest wantes the little boy to touch his cross the boy said its hard then it shot out holy water and the priest said come again and taste the second cumming of jesus lmao
Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie
The last time I had flying lessons I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom, Then fucked a slut, Played some slots, Took some shots, then shot a JOKER
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself But he died with a smile
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
what do u call a cow that has been shot
holy cow
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
An assassin is about to shot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience,."
