Shes jokes
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
Yo mama is so poor, she buys used food.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own event horizon.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.