Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Yo mama is so fat, she goes to the beach to sell shade.
Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
Yo mama so stupid, she hides behind a glass door when playing hide and seek.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde, and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard, and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde, and she struck the pervert."
The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me, and she slapped him."
The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark, and she slapped me by mistake."
The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."
Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.
Yo mama so fat she sat on an iPhone and turned it into an iPad.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
He: "Do you smoke after sex?"
She: "I don't know. I've never looked."
A computer science student is studying under a tree, and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"
The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, 'You can have anything you want.'"
The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
