Shelter jokes
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Community
GET YO GODDAMN DISCORD SERVER MUTING VERBALLY POLLUTING MENTALLY NON-COMPUTING NO JOB HAVING CAN'T AFFORD A CAR YOU DRIVE A WAGON YOU MAKEUP DOSEN'T COVER UP FOR WHAT YOU LACKING YOUR FATHER'S EXPECTATIONS YOU'RE UNABLE TO SURPASS THEM LOOKING ASS BACK! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU SAYING BITCH YOU BOUT' UGLY AS HELL BITCH YOU ASKED YOUR BARBER TO GIVE YO FOREHEAD THE SHOWER CURTAIN SPECIAL SHUT YO LITTLE UGLY ASS UP AND BRO… Read more
GET YO GODDAMN DISCORD SERVER MUTING VERBALLY POLLUTING MENTALLY NON-COMPUTING NO JOB HAVING CAN'T AFFORD A CAR YOU DRIVE A WAGON YOU MAKEUP DOSEN'T COVER UP FOR WHAT YOU LACKING YOUR FATHER'S EXPECTATIONS YOU'RE UNABLE TO SURPASS THEM LOOKING ASS BACK! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU SAYING BITCH YOU BOUT' UGLY AS HELL BITCH YOU ASKED YOUR BARBER TO GIVE YO FOREHEAD THE SHOWER CURTAIN SPECIAL SHUT YO LITTLE UGLY ASS UP AND BRO… Read more
Little blue, be my shelter Be my cradle, be my womb Be my boat, be my river Be the stillness of the moon If I could, I'd go with you To a place I never knew In your eyes, so dark and open There's a light that leads me back to you 'Cause you're not so far away I hear you say "You'll never walk alone" Singin' Don't be afraid of the dark In your heart You're gonna find a way To carry the weight of the world On your shoulders You're gonna find a way home -the goat Jacob Collier