Shelter jokes

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?

In a dog pound, people actually want them.

Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?

He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

Why can't orphans walk through doors?

Because they don't have a house to walk into.

What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?

The ant knows where home is.

Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?

They wanted some family time.

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

I saw a girl crying. I asked her, "Where are your parents?" She cried as I got kicked out of the orphanage.

I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.