Server

Server jokes

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Menu

  • Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

    Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

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  • Grasshopper

  • A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"

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    Buffet

  • You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

    Mama

  • Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

    Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.

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    Restaurant

  • A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

    The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

    So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

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  • Security

  • One apple a day keeps the doctor away; not logging onto servers using management or service accounts keeps SecOps people away.

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