Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Self-Defense Jokes
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
Officer, I drop-kicked that child in self-defense!
You gotta believe me!
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said, “Did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied, “Do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Q. How does a feminist stop a rapist?
A. By using her equal strength.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.