New Rocket Jokes

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?

Mars bars.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.

Why did the cow go to outer space?

To see the moooon!

A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.

I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.

We started playing rocket league.

Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.

Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

What's up?

A rocket from NASA.

OMG SO FUNNYY!

How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.