One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Road Jokes
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Why did an Indian cross the road?
To take a shit.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?
A school bus full of kids.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Why did Mom cross the road?
To kill you!
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
