There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Grandma: young people your age are married by now,why aren’t you?
Me: old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
A son walks up to his dad and says "Dad! I just had sex for the first time." The dad goes "Great! Wanna sit down and talk about it?" The son says "I cant sit right now, my butt is very sore."
i got a lot running through my head right now i wish at least one was a 12 gauge round
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit i forgot but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off and someone asked him “How are You?” And he said “I’m all right now.”
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know somethings gonna happen, I can just feel it
Been watching smackdown dvds and I'm so erect right now. I'm so bricked up.
Knock knock who’s there yo mum yo mum who yo mum is watching you wank right now
EatDatPussy445 aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland is a pedophile and he is in Las Vegas right now GOGOGO catch him
Mother: How is my little cookie 🍪 doing?
Doctor 👩⚕️: Your cookie 🍪 is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor 👩⚕️: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erect*on?” Wife: “ok... what is it?” Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now”.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared." "It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
Bro Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter celebrating right now I bet
Oh wait I forgot
